ok, let me get philosophical on your ass.
right. rule number one. you don’t chase. it’s not a hunt. it’s not a war. it’s nothing so combative, yeah. it’s like a journey. a dance, if you will.
we all have a bit of music inside of us, right, and it makes us move in certain ways, using certain steps.
you’re still learning your steps. you’re still figuring out what your song is. getting to grips with the melody.
once in a while, you invite someone along to dance with you. but you never, ever beg them to join you. you hold out your hand and wait for them to take hold of it.
some might. and you find that you’re in tune and it’s great and they bring something extra. then it’s fun. your steps go together with someone else’s and something really good and beautiful happens. it won’t necessarily last a lifetime.
and then, there are people with whom you can dance forever. i’m not talking about soulmates. i’m talking about some people with whom you simply click. you might not hear the same melodies. actually, you won’t because we really are unique. but whatever you’re hearing comes together really well. and you’re able to create and explore so many new steps and moves with them.
but sometimes, we insist on dancing with the wrong partners. both of us hear something so completely different that rhythm and coordination are thrown right out of the window. but we force it anyway. or they step on your toes. or you step on their toes. you both hearing the wrong, wrong thing. it simply doesn’t work out.
what can also happen is that we can hear the other’s music, right, and we want it so badly to be ours that we try and copy it but end up ruining it completely. even messing up their rhythm…
that’s when you learn to say thank you, and goodbye.
you need to get your second wind. sit down, get new dancing shoes and learn to hear your song again. and start to dance to it, on your own. forget about the many, many potential partners. just you and the music. get to know how you move again. what makes you tick. it’s hard, i’m sure. nothing worth it is easy. but it’s not impossible…
© Devorah K., September 2016